July 5, 2008
July 4, 2008
We’ll miss you George. Thanks for the laughs.
Posted by Tyler under general silliness, inspirationNo Comments
As most of you probably already know George Carlin died. I wanted to take a moment here to write about how brilliantly funny he was. I don’t know of any other comedian who really had George Carlin’s knack for pointing out the hilarious semantic possibilities of the English language, as well as making pointedly funny observations about popular culture. He had a singular talent for taking commonplace words and ideas and making them into phrases that made you laugh until you thought your gut was going to burst. Sadly, I had the opportunity to go see him when I was in junior high or high school but my parents wouldn’t let me. I own two of his books though and they contain sharp, funny things like:
When someone asks you what time it is, glance at your watch and say, “It’s either six-fifteen or Mickey has a hard-on.” Guaranteed they’ll ask someone else.
Griddle cakes, pancakes, hotcakes, flapjacks: why are there four names for grilled batter and only one word for love?
And this rant on our modern society:
MAYBE THEY’LL ADOPT
Probably the only reason the pandas aren’t fucking on schedule is because some environmental jackoff has moved into the cage with them. Could you get a hard-on if some loser in a green T-shirt was taking your girlfriend’s rectal temperature? Leave these creatures alone. And please God, save the planet from environmentalists.
July 3, 2008
Just watched the pilot of Flight of The Conchords and a few minutes of the second episode. And they parodied…wait for it…THE PET SHOP BOYS!
So two things occurred to me:
1. My pop music experience has now come full circle since I remember listening to the Pet Shop Boys on the radio when West End Girls had just come out. And now it’s been turned into a joke song for two Kiwis who are singing it to 18 year olds who probably think it’s an original song (at least some of them).
2. 2000-2010 will go down in history as the Decade of the Geek.
June 23, 2008
A friend of mine posted this comment on my Belief blog, so I wanted to take a moment and respond to it, since it opens the door to a dialogue, and I figured, hey, door open - time to walk through it. 
Here’s what my friend wrote and my responses are in italics below each section he wrote.
Well, time to answer some questions I guess…
1. I don’t know if I understand this question because for at least, believing in God isn’t competitive with believing in other people or in myself. As for what it does for me, I think it does do the same thing for me as believing in other people does, and since it’s not competitive, I have no problem believing in God and believing in the people that I do. If anything, the more people that you believe in, the better the chance that life can be more fulfilling.
Since you said you don’t know if you understand this question let me put it this way - If it does the same thing for you as believing in other people, then why even bother believing in God? I mean if you are putting your faith in something bigger than yourself, let’s say, why not simply put that faith in humanity? At least we’ve seen that in action.
2. I have absolutely, positively, not one single piece of evidence, but that’s the point of faith. Think about it, if there was actual evidence, you’d feel kinda silly being an atheist, right? But the fact that you get to make your own choice, evidence or not, is kinda the fun part of choosing to have faith or believing in something else.
Well, of course there’s no evidence. If there were evidence I wouldn’t have written the blog. 
3. Ah, you can take the boy out of Shul but you can’t take the Shul out of the boy… you see, my Jewish friend, my view of God is that he ISN’T vengeful. Yes, he comes off that way in the Torah/Old Testament, but I’m not foolish enough to think that’s a literal story. Sometimes, in a story, you gotta have a bad cop to keep the kids in line ’cause lets face it, some of those Israelites were up to some crazy shit. It’s like Lewis Black says, the reason the bible says marriage is between a man and a woman is because sometimes guys would come home with a goat and say, “this is my new wife.” Oh, the good ole’ days…
Don’t get me wrong, I think Lewis Black is hilarious. Bad cop? What? Why should god be a cop at all? I mean, isn’t it enough of a threat to say “steal my cow and I’ll fucking have you stoned.” Ah, simpler times.
Don’t think we have to worry about guys marrying livestock at this point, except maybe in the deep south. And my precept here is that OTHER PEOPLE believe god is vengeful - reference Southern Baptists for instance. I don’t believe god exists, therefore since I have no belief in god I have assigned god no personality traits. However, I am really glad to know you are part of the minority demographic of those who believe god is not vengeful.
4. No I don’t. I believe that human beings have free will, and as such, we have the choice to either help other people or fuck them over. But that choice is on us. If God does intervene, which he may, he sure as hell isn’t going to make sure people know about it, ’cause otherwise, he takes about your free will and now you can no longer choose not to believe in him ’cause with proof, you’re forced to say, “okay, he/she/it is real” and that’s not faith. But to specifically answer your question, I think God usually doesn’t intervene because that’s our fucking job. The problem is, sometimes we do it for the wrong reasons…
So we can surmise from this line of thought that God is not intervening because he/she/it doesn’t want us to know he/she/it exists otherwise we wouldn’t have faith in he/she/it. This is preposterous. Why would an all-powerful, all-knowing, omnipresent deity possibly care if we believe in it? It would be afraid of taking away our free will? Even if we knew god existed we’d still have free will because if we don’t then we’re back to the logical fallacy of a vengeful omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent god. And if people don’t believe god intervenes then what exactly are they getting from prayer and what purpose does it serve to believe in an absent and indifferent entity?
5. First, all the accomplishments you named have only taken place in the last 100 years. So all those advancements in one century out of 200 means that lets face, in the scale of the universe, our asses just got out of the damn cave. We can’t cure the common cold, but you want us to be able to prove that God exists? Hell, somedays’ I’m happy when people learn to tie their shoes right. But, just so you know, Thomas Acquinas, someone who is considered to be quite the intellectual, actually took a few years of his life to prove the existence of God. Of course, he wrote it in a matter that most people barely understood what he was talking about because it quite the metaphysical piece of work. So, people have tried, few have understood.
Let’s not forget about discovering fire, inventing the wheel, the bronze age, the iron age, etc. We’re pretty smart. No, we haven’t cured the common cold, or any other virus for that matter. We have come up with vaccines for a bunch of them, like polio, rubella, tetanus and HPV, among others.
St. Thomas Aquinas proved god existed? Our professor certainly didn’t mention that in philosophy class. It sounds more like he came up with an ontological proof that fit the criteria of his era and used it as a convincing argument as to god’s existence. A logical proof however is not the same as physical proof.
To conclude my points, you can choose to have faith, or you can choose not to. That’s the beauty of it all.
Very true. I have lots of faith. I even have faith in you. I don’t have much faith in the folks who believe god is vengeful. They’re all killjoys in my view.
June 19, 2008
So, I wasn’t sure how well I was doing at songwriting, but I recently sent a song (well, lyrics at least) to my friend D who’s a very talented poet. She responded by writing “Wow! I love the song.” Apparently, I’m on to something with this songwriting thing as D is very quick with criticism if something doesn’t work. So thanks again D. She also commented that the song was bluesy. I hadn’t thought of it as a blues tune before, but it could definitely work well as one. Based on D’s positive review and insight I am now officially working on my first album. It will be chock full of the music I love best - rock and roll, the blues, jazz and folk. I’m pretty stoked. Stay tuned for updates.
June 17, 2008
To begin with, I don’t believe in god. I have never believed in the existence of god and I figure at this point I never will. Basically, I think faith is a necessary and wonderful part of being human. Faith in god however is a subject that requires more scrutiny. For this reason, I am left with the following questions. I’ve seen no evidence in the 31 years I’ve been on this big spinning rock and I’ve looked - I have a number of times in my life questioned my atheism because it has seemed more logical to believe in god, if only for the fact that billions of other people do so they must be on to something. So, I’ve decided given all my experiences, to put up these questions. Feel free to leave your answers in the comment section.
1. What is it you get from believing in god that you couldn’t get from say, believing in yourself or others?
2. What evidence do you have that god exists?
3. If god is omnipotent, omniscient and omnipresent, then how could he/she be vengeful?
4. Do you believe in an interventionist god? If so why is god so selective about intervening?
5. The modern human appeared about 200,000 years ago. How do you account for the fact that in that time we’ve sent men to the moon, cured diseases, learned to manipulate the atom and invented the computer, but we’ve never been able to definitively prove the existence of god? If god does intervene why doesn’t he make his presence known?
June 4, 2008
Apparently around the turn of the century, Bayer, the fine folks synonymous with aspirin also used to sell this over-the-counter. Ah, simpler times. Simpler times.
May 30, 2008
I got an email from Apple as I do about once a week, you know, just the usual sort of update letting me know about new albums and movies I can download from the iTunes Store. I noticed one of the movies that’s now available is Sleuth. This led to me procuring the following information:
Sleuth - 1972 - Michael Caine played Milo Tindle
2007 - Jude Law played Milo Tindle
Alfie - 1966 - Michael Caine played Alfie Elkins
2004 - Jude Law played Alfie Elkins
The Italian Job was already remade without Jude Law, so, which one will be next?
May 25, 2008
So, very recently, the brother of one of my oldest and best friends got married. I am really overjoyed at this because he’s a wonderful person and I have fond memories of him from sixteen years ago when he was just a kid, so to see him get married just adds some kind of poetic continuity to those memories. I saw the pictures of him at the reception that were posted on MySpace and he and his bride look very happy in that way that only newlyweds can. I doubt he’ll read this but I’m still going to write it:
Congratulations E! I hope you and A have a wonderful honeymoon and a long, blissful life together…two down, one to go.
Last year, my cousin M got married. It was a lovely ceremony and reception at an elegant banquet hall type place and I got to see my Uncle J who I hadn’t seen in years. Actually, come to think of it, the last time I saw him was when my other cousin M(male) got married. M(male), M(female) and I are all the same age and our mothers are sisters, in case you know, you were trying to figure out the relationship of these people referred to only with initials. In addition to my Uncle J I also got to see lots of other wonderful family members like my Aunt S, M’s mother, my Aunt K and the Southern New Jersey crew, Aunt D, Cousin E, and lots of other people you’ve never met. It is somewhat sad because my mother’s parents both died years ago, so they were not there for the occasion, though I suppose if you believe in heaven then they were looking down lovingly.
In September, a very good friend of mine is getting married. I have now officially met his fiance, albeit over the phone because the other day I called him and she answered. So at this point I’ve seen pictures of her and briefly spoken to her, so in a few months I’ll get to meet this charming and mysterious woman in person. I am very excited about the wedding because I haven’t seen him in a while and hey weddings are one of those fun occasions in life when you get to meet new people that are all gathered for the same purpose - to celebrate the love and happiness between two people. Call me a romantic, an optimist, or a dork, but I think that’s a pretty cool reason to eat cake and drink heavily. I’ve known my friend N for the last four years and it’s sort of kismet that we got introduced because my ex-girlfriend and I lasted only four months but my friendship with N continues on. Kind of gives credence to the idea that you meet some people for a reason. Clearly a big part of the reason I met her was to meet him.
And where is this long and rambling blog heading you may be wondering - well, I’ll tell you.
Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever get married. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying marriage is the end-all be-all of human existence or even that it is necessary to lead a happy life. I’m not even saying it is for everyone. I have some friends that are certainly not the marrying kind. I also know some couples that make you wonder “Why are these people together?”. Likewise I know couples that compliment each other and clearly have love, patience and grace for their spouse.
But as I’ve now reached the age where my friends and relatives (and not just my sisters) are pairing off permanently, I have been left to consider my lone state and while I am simultaneously filled with joy to see those I love get married, I have also at times been struck with the thought “My life is really missing something.”
Of late I have reached a conclusion though. I may never get married. This runs counter to the previously held concept of my future. I had always assumed that I would meet the right girl and we’d click and fall in love and move in together and eventually, by virtue of instinct I would pop the question, she would say yes and the rest would be history.
That was my foregone conclusion. Until a few weeks ago. At that point I talked to a friend about my nascent loneliness and my hopes for the future (yes, I used the word nascent, deal with it). I’ll paraphrase his observation: “Being the kind of guy you are, the kind of guy who’s going to sail around the world, for example, you may not get married. You’ll probably wind up having more than one girlfriend at a time and maybe eventually you’ll find one that you want to marry.” When he first said this I was kind of shocked, but as we talked further I realized “Son of a bitch. I think he’s right.” I had always had this preconceived notion that I would do what a lot of guys do and go through a succession of girlfriends until I found the one that I was most compatible with and ultimately married her. But the more I think about it the more it makes sense given my career and my adventurous nature. The demands on my time that being a filmmaker entails, coupled with the fact that I plan to own a sailboat and cross the Atlantic and the Pacific, if not actually circumnavigate the globe, I’m sure I’ll be hard-pressed to just settle into a long-term relationship with one woman. Naturally, it’s all speculation at this point, but I suppose getting older and wiser means leaving your mind open to new possibilities. The future unfolds, and often at a maddening pace as I move from one film project to the next and when the money train arrives I already know what I’ll be spending my cash on. Now the only question that remains is, who will I be spending it on?
May 24, 2008
I looked in the comments section of my blog and noticed that the filter had snagged 312 bits of spam. 312! Not only that but the assholes who have the odious job of sending me digital junk mail are now sending 10 of them at a time. Fortunately I have a decent filter on my mail program so I don’t spend my whole life marking spam as junk.
People. STOP BUYING THINGS FROM SPAM MAIL AND SPAM COMMENTS! Just don’t do it. Then we’ll stop getting spammed. If they don’t make money they won’t try to sell me (or you for that matter):
1. Phentermine (don’t know what the fuck this is but I don’t want it)
2. Car Insurance (yeah, cause I’m going to buy that from junk mail)
3. Viagra (my erections are fine thanks and i don’t pop pills for kicks)
4. Megadik, etc. (the people buying these should probably invest in a Megaclue)
5. Knockoff Jewelry (i don’t wear real designer jewelry let alone the fake stuff. who am I, a mafioso?)
6. Real Estate Seminars (i have a career already and I’m not looking for a new one)
7. Stock Tips (because i might ever invest in securities that a fucking internet birdy told me about)
8. Cialis (another stupid pill my cock doesn’t need)
9. Free Offer Gimmicks (come on people seriously are you falling for these?)
10. Time Shares, Vacation Homes, etc. (no, I don’t want a time share and I’m fairly certain the people who do can find one through a Google search. i also don’t want a vacation home or a “weekend retreat” or a goddamn RV on the moon.)
And for the idiots that leave spam on this post, here’s a suggestion, if you like marketing to people and want to make lots of money doing it - go get a job at an advertising agency. They pay better and far fewer people hate you. In fact, you could even win a Clio Award. There are no awards for junk mail.
