So, very recently, the brother of one of my oldest and best friends got married. I am really overjoyed at this because he’s a wonderful person and I have fond memories of him from sixteen years ago when he was just a kid, so to see him get married just adds some kind of poetic continuity to those memories. I saw the pictures of him at the reception that were posted on MySpace and he and his bride look very happy in that way that only newlyweds can. I doubt he’ll read this but I’m still going to write it:
Congratulations E! I hope you and A have a wonderful honeymoon and a long, blissful life together…two down, one to go. 
Last year, my cousin M got married. It was a lovely ceremony and reception at an elegant banquet hall type place and I got to see my Uncle J who I hadn’t seen in years. Actually, come to think of it, the last time I saw him was when my other cousin M(male) got married. M(male), M(female) and I are all the same age and our mothers are sisters, in case you know, you were trying to figure out the relationship of these people referred to only with initials. In addition to my Uncle J I also got to see lots of other wonderful family members like my Aunt S, M’s mother, my Aunt K and the Southern New Jersey crew, Aunt D, Cousin E, and lots of other people you’ve never met. It is somewhat sad because my mother’s parents both died years ago, so they were not there for the occasion, though I suppose if you believe in heaven then they were looking down lovingly.
In September, a very good friend of mine is getting married. I have now officially met his fiance, albeit over the phone because the other day I called him and she answered. So at this point I’ve seen pictures of her and briefly spoken to her, so in a few months I’ll get to meet this charming and mysterious woman in person. I am very excited about the wedding because I haven’t seen him in a while and hey weddings are one of those fun occasions in life when you get to meet new people that are all gathered for the same purpose – to celebrate the love and happiness between two people. Call me a romantic, an optimist, or a dork, but I think that’s a pretty cool reason to eat cake and drink heavily. I’ve known my friend N for the last four years and it’s sort of kismet that we got introduced because my ex-girlfriend and I lasted only four months but my friendship with N continues on. Kind of gives credence to the idea that you meet some people for a reason. Clearly a big part of the reason I met her was to meet him.
And where is this long and rambling blog heading you may be wondering – well, I’ll tell you.
Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever get married. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying marriage is the end-all be-all of human existence or even that it is necessary to lead a happy life. I’m not even saying it is for everyone. I have some friends that are certainly not the marrying kind. I also know some couples that make you wonder “Why are these people together?”. Likewise I know couples that compliment each other and clearly have love, patience and grace for their spouse.
But as I’ve now reached the age where my friends and relatives (and not just my sisters) are pairing off permanently, I have been left to consider my lone state and while I am simultaneously filled with joy to see those I love get married, I have also at times been struck with the thought “My life is really missing something.”
Of late I have reached a conclusion though. I may never get married. This runs counter to the previously held concept of my future. I had always assumed that I would meet the right girl and we’d click and fall in love and move in together and eventually, by virtue of instinct I would pop the question, she would say yes and the rest would be history.
That was my foregone conclusion. Until a few weeks ago. At that point I talked to a friend about my nascent loneliness and my hopes for the future (yes, I used the word nascent, deal with it). I’ll paraphrase his observation: “Being the kind of guy you are, the kind of guy who’s going to sail around the world, for example, you may not get married. You’ll probably wind up having more than one girlfriend at a time and maybe eventually you’ll find one that you want to marry.” When he first said this I was kind of shocked, but as we talked further I realized “Son of a bitch. I think he’s right.” I had always had this preconceived notion that I would do what a lot of guys do and go through a succession of girlfriends until I found the one that I was most compatible with and ultimately married her. But the more I think about it the more it makes sense given my career and my adventurous nature. The demands on my time that being a filmmaker entails, coupled with the fact that I plan to own a sailboat and cross the Atlantic and the Pacific, if not actually circumnavigate the globe, I’m sure I’ll be hard-pressed to just settle into a long-term relationship with one woman. Naturally, it’s all speculation at this point, but I suppose getting older and wiser means leaving your mind open to new possibilities. The future unfolds, and often at a maddening pace as I move from one film project to the next and when the money train arrives I already know what I’ll be spending my cash on. Now the only question that remains is, who will I be spending it on?
