A good friend of mine is a classicist and came across this list of FACTS. These are indisputable pieces of information people. Enjoy:

I too have had it. Just one too many times this week someone has made a statement that is so ridiculous and irritating that I must put the record straight.
The following are FACTS. There is not room for argument here, as you cannot argue against something that is primarily true.

FACT: Odysseus is the best superhero. Nope, no, shut up. I have no interest in debating this.
FACT: Greeks are better than Trojans.
FACT: Zeus is the best God. He has everything the other gods have and more, including the ability to transform into animals to fuck women and create mythical beasts.
FACT: The Iliad is the greatest novel of all time.
FACT: Fresco is the greatest art form of all time.
FACT: Parthenon is the best representation of culture in Greece. The Temple of Hephaestus is amazing, but its not better.
FACT: Hercules would lose in a real fight with Hades. Half God vs. full god of death and the underworld.
FACT: Ambrosia is ABSOLUTELY better than that liquid plutonium you call goats milk.
FACT: It is never acceptable to call Achilles or Apollo a bitch. They should have their own Mt. Rushmore you fucks.
FACT: Figs simply are the best natural food. Olives are a close second. Fish doesn’t have a place in this category as they are not fruits, but fish. Duh.
FACT: Pork is better than Pheasants. Grow a pair you baby.
FACT: Odysseus blinded the cyclops first and his name is pronounced Odysseus, not Ulysses.
FACT: Wall Painting is the greatest art form of all time.
FACT: Lamb is better than anything else on Earth, ever.
FACT: Wearing a toga does make you a pimp. Zuess never looked stupid, and neither did Homer.
FACT: Zeus is the best god. I said it before and I’ll say it again. If you say that Athena was, I swear to whatever god you worship that I will find you and eat you alive with my ear. AND THATS IMPOSSIBLE.
FACT: Apollo flies in a sun chariot, but its technically a carriage and anyone with a brain knows that. Wilder.
FACT: Lightning CAN be directed at people by gods who want to kill, don’t believe the hype.
FACT: Lute is better than a flute.
FACT: You can’t cross the river Styx if you are alive. If you do – you are either dead, a god, or being carried by a god. Go on. Try it.
FACT: Homer isn’t a sellout. Go choke on a dick if you think he is.
FACT: Apples aren’t better than Pears. In this case I am willing to accept that it is impossible to prove either way. But they aren’t better.
FACT: Roman’s suck.
FACT: Paris could and would get away with sexin your girlfriend.
FACT: You wouldn’t mind if he did.
FACT: He already has.
FACT: Twice times.

If you really, truly believe that any of these are not FACT, then I hate you and no longer want to share this planet with you. Expect actions of my part to ensure that happens in the near future.